Dear Summer:

Chub rub and profuse sweating aside, which I realize are personal issues, could you maybe go a little easier on us? By nature I know you’re hot. I know you know you’re hot, and maybe that works with some of the ladies, but it’s not a turn on for this girl. I’m just not that into you.

Image via Wikimedia. Photo by Alistair Murdoch

Don’t get me wrong, you have your good points. Your sunshiny ways are great, but maybe you could lose the humidity? I mean really, what’s the point of humidity other than to weigh heavy on and annoy the hell out of everyone. Not to mention the horrific bad hair days it causes. It forces us to reluctantly turn on the air conditioning, which increases our energy bills, and when it’s combined in full force with your powerful heat, sometimes our power sources get knocked out of commission because of the over abundant need to keep cool. Are you proud of that? Or perhaps you’re in cahoots with the energy providers, hmm?

Being so “hot” I’m sure you have your pick, but I’d like to suggest that perhaps you and Winter consider getting together. She’s a cool chick; granted she has her issues as well, but I think you’d be a great match. You both tend to go to extremes, at different ends of the spectrum, and you might balance each other out, which would be a win-win for all of us. After all, you know what they say … opposites attract!

I hope you don’t take my letter the wrong way. I just couldn’t hold back any longer. It had to be said. I want to be friends, I really do. I want to love and enjoy the days that you’re around. With a little compromise and better communication, I think we have the potential to get along just fine.

Truly,
allyson

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