Random Adventures of a Single Woman


As I awoke this morning to the girl-your-breath-is-kickin’ scent coming from my own mouth I thought to myself SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIHALITOSIS! Oofta (as my good friend Sheri would say)! What’s up with the oral stench? I can’t subject other people to this horrid smell.


Morning breath is a common thing, I realize that. Everyone worries about it; well, maybe not everyone. There are times I’ve come across folks that don’t seem to be aware of how badly their breath smells. I feel awful for them and for the people who have to have in-person conversations with them.


Being the borderline hypochondriac that my sister has rightfully identified me as, I did some research on this sneaky Halitosis monster. According to Dr. Harold Katz, a leading expert on the topic of bad breath and author of “The Bad Breath Bible” (yes, apparently someone took the time to write this, AND, hold on to your seats kids – it’s a FREE download!), just about everyone has morning breath to some degree. Perhaps hotels/motels should start keeping this Bible in the bedside table along with the holy book? Just sayin’.


The stats on bad breath, according to Dr. Katz:


Approximately 35% of the world’s population has a chronic, noticeable breath condition which usually leads them to seek help from a professional

Another 35% are considered “borderline” meaning that their breath seems fresh throughout the day, but they can easily reach “chronic” levels

The remaining 30% rarely worry about bad breath. The only exceptions are when they eat garlic and onions, or upon wakening (morning breath)


Are you sitting there now blowing into your hand closed over your mouth to smell your own breath? Go on, admit it! I’ve done it a few times today, specifically while writing this. As far as this statistical pool goes, I’d put myself somewhere in the middle of it all. I don’t think I have chronic bad breath, but I probably worry more (or at least I will now, after this morning’s experience and after all this research!) than the bottom 30%.


What causes the foul odors? According the American Dental Association, common causes of halitosis include:


Eating potent foods, such as onions or garlic (ummm, aren’t these part of everyone’s daily food groups? along with olive oil, of course.)

Not eating frequently enough (no problem there!)

Not brushing and flossing your teeth each day (brushing check! flossing consistently, yea, I gotta get better at that!)

Having a dry mouth from lack of saliva (I live in an old house with old-fashioned radiators I wake up with dry mouth all the time.)

Using tobacco products (no way Jose!)

Having a medical disorder such as sinusitis, postnasal drip, respiratory infection, or liver or kidney problem (oh no! how do I go about getting my liver and kidneys tested?!?)


So, tonight maybe I’ll cut back on the onions and garlic at dinner, and I will definitely floss before I go to bed! I’d put the humidifier on, but the one I own just leaks all over the place. Maybe I’ll go the old-school route, like my Mama used to do, and put a pot of water on the radiator before I hit the sack, and we’ll see what tomorrow morning brings.


Really kids, no need to thank me for all of this helpful research and intimate info sharing about my bad breath issues. Here, on Cupcakes & Cat Food, I always try to tackle those earth-shattering issues that I know you are all dying to get to the bottom of. Right now, I bet you’re thinking you’re glad you read this on my blog rather than having an an in-person conversation with me about it.


So there you have it, another profound post from a day in the life of ally.


Until next time, remember to brush and floss, and be mindful about how your bad breath might be affecting others.


Peace & Good Breath,


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