Posts filed under ‘Uncategorized’
Consumed by Consumption
Addiction is an awful thing. It’s something that seems to be a topic on the news a lot lately, and it’s unfortunate that it takes tragedies for it to be spoken about so much and discussed so openly.
Image via Wikipedia
Unless you were completely unplugged this weekend and disconnected from society, you know that Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London apartment. A talented young woman dead at just the age of 27. A woman who publicly struggled with addiction, and who, ironically, was perhaps most well-known for her hit song “Rehab“.
Twitter was a-fire with the news of her passing. Comments on Facebook were plenty, some honoring the young talent and expressing sympathies, others sharing their feelings of disgust of a life wasted. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, of course. My opinion, no life is ever a waste. Every human being is worth something.
Addiction affects not only the addict but their family unit and those closest to them. This morning the news flashed footage of Winehouse’s parents arriving at her London flat. I feel for them. Some people might argue that they should have done more for their daughter; they should have forced her to into sobriety. The fact is a person can’t be forced; only when someone is ready to be sober can they begin their personal journey toward a better way of life.
Also in the news, the upcoming HBO documentary, “There’s Something Wrong With Aunt Diane” a look at the infamous and horrifying 2009 crash on New York State’s Taconic Parkway in which Diane Schuler drove in the wrong direction ending in the deaths of eight people including Schuler, her own daughter, her three nieces and three gentlemen who were in the vehicle she crashed into head-on. Tests showed she had been driving with marijuana and the equivalent of 10 shots of alcohol in her body.
In a Today Show segment this morning covering the death of Winehouse and a dialogue on addiction, it was stated that last year in the US 100,000 people died alcohol-related deaths. That’s just alcohol. Imagine what the number for substance abuse-related deaths as a whole must be.
I imagine that the Winehouse family must be going through a lot of emotions. Sadness and grief for a loved one lost. Anger for what Amy did and didn’t do and for what they feel they perhaps should have or could have done. Those feelings of anger are probably something they’re all too familiar with. Feelings they’ve most likely tried to deal with throughout Amy’s life as an addict.
I am by no means an expert on addiction or alcoholism, but I have known and loved people who have struggled with these demons. Watching someone you love disappearing before you is awful, and, I think, harder on the people watching because they are completely aware of everything happening as the addict is living in a world of denial. Your heart breaks repeatedly and your stomach twists and contorts in ways you never thought it could, leaving you with a constant, nagging pain because you know you can’t do anything to help them until they are ready to help themselves; until they are ready to step out of the comfortable state of denial and into the much more complicated world of reality. It’s amazing how alcohol and drugs can consume your life, especially when you’re not the one consuming them.
I wish peace for the Winehouse family and for those who loved her. I wish peace for the families affected by the Taconic crash. I wish peace for anyone affected by addiction. Moments of tragedy give us the opportunity to learn, to discuss, to share. No life is a waste, but if we don’t take something from these moments of sadness, of mourning we will have wasted a chance to make a difference. A chance to perhaps stop at least one more potential tragedy from happening in the future.
Related articles
- Amy Winehouse: What Your Reaction to Her Death Means to Me (dangerouslee.biz)
- Russell Brand Pens ‘To Amy’ (divamission.wordpress.com)
- VIDEO: Amy Winehouse ‘leaves a gaping hole’ (bbc.co.uk)
- A Pathway to Peace (Cupcakes & Cat Food)
Monday Mutterings
This dreary Monday cannot seem to go by fast enough. What better way to wake up the brain during an afternoon lull than with some “Unconscious Mutterings” …
- International :: Travel, Adventure
- Witnesses :: Onlookers, Proof
- Rising :: Star, Bread, Temperature, Blood Pressure
- Two years ago :: Sooooooo different, Lighter in body & soul
- Sausage :: Links, Hot, Sweet, Peppers, Italian Feast, Mama
- Physically :: Unfit, Exhausted, Blech
- Approached :: Asked, Tried to Convince, Walked on Eggshells
- Mole :: Spy, Snitch, Austin Powers, GuacaMOLE MOLE MOLE
- Collar :: Dog, Shirt, Book ‘em Dan-o
- Encased :: Closed in, Covered, Shellac
I Say, You Say … Lists for Inspiration
I found this fun, ongoing meme called “Unconscious Mutterings“. A new list of
words is posted every week for an ongoing exercise in free association. Apparently, over time, this technique is supposed to help recover repressed thoughts and feelings that one can then work through to gain a better sense of self. But, I thought I’d try it as just another random way for me to get the words out of my head and onto the blog on a more regular base. Perhaps another source of inspiration? And hey, I could always use some self discovery. We shall see.
I’ve decided to tackle two lists to start with – daring, I know. It’s just the way I roll …
- Code :: Secret, Numbers
- Brothers :: Sisters, Family
- Immigration :: Ellis Island, Legal Issues
- Heavy :: Overweight, Stress
- Bracket :: Hanging something up, Some sports mumbo jumbo
- Murder :: Mystery, Law & Order
- Neighbor :: Yard, Mr. Rogers
- Collar :: Dog
- Onslaught :: Mob scene
- Eyebrows :: Bushy, Wax
- Trumpet :: Taps, Lips, Spit
- Love :: Warmth, Complicated, Heart
- Routine :: Everyday
- Infringe :: In the way
- Misgivings :: Hmmmmmmm (Raised eyebrow)
- Establish :: Foundation
- Stupefy :: Duh
- Constipate :: Turtle, Back-up
- Conjure :: Magic, Create
- Miscellaneous :: A little bit ‘o this – A little bit ‘o that
Go on … give it a whirl. You know you want to!
A Pathway to Peace
Lately I find that I constantly have the Prayer of St. Francis running through my head, and perhaps, my soul. It’s a prayer that
reminds me of my parents, and I have been thinking of them a lot lately. The prayer in song was a part of my mother’s funeral mass; I remember it well, because it was the moment when I “lost it”. I can’t recall if it was sung at my father’s mass, that seems like so long ago, and such a blur.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love with all my soul.For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
I believe that my parents, truly tried to live life like this prayer. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure that we had a statue of St. Francis in the back yard, and my parents always enjoyed visiting Graymoor, the home of the Franciscan Sisters and Friars of the Atonement. I remember my sweet Mama always giving me advice and consoling me with phrases like: “’tis better to give than to receive”, “just imagine what must be so wrong in that person’s life to make them act that way. you should feel bad for them”, “if someone asks you to borrow a quarter and you have one to give, you should, and ask them not to pay you back, but to pass it on to the next person who needs it”.
I’m sure that at the time that these words of wisdom were shared with me, my reaction probably included eye rolling and a sigh of “ohhhh mom”. But how blessed am I to have been taught such lessons? Lessons that would come to comfort me at times when I need it most, and to have been raised by parents who truly wanted peace, for everyone.
I know I’ve written before about a desire to connect with and find my faith, my own spiritual path. While my parents were devout Catholics, I have struggled to connect with the Church as of late. I think one thing that I have discovered is, that in my soul, I am drawn to live a life committed to finding and sharing a pathway to peace; much like the ways of St. Francis and my beautiful, loving parents.
Related articles
- A Prayer of Service and Reminder to Praise Him (danielnm.wordpress.com)
- Tomb of St. Francis back in the pink (cbc.ca)
- It just takes a measure of faith (barefootpreachr.org)
I Get What I Get But I Do Get Upset
Image via Wikipedia
About a week ago I posted a status on my Facebook page that said “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”. I honestly didn’t think anyone would comment, but people really related to the statement and actually agreed with it. Funny how that happens … you write something on Facebook that you think is profound, intriguing and stimulating, perhaps even groundbreaking (in your own little word) and you get nada, but a simple statement that you throw up there on a whim and the “likes” and comments come-a-pourin’ in.
Anyway, the thing is, I wrote that statement but I don’t I agree with it. I apologize to have been misleading in writing it. I’m sure you’re all furious with me, but I’m actually kind of mad at myself for putting it out there. I was having a bad day and it was my way of surrendering; my way of saying “fine, I’m not gonna fight the laws of the universe any more. It is what it is and I’ll have to settle for it.” Whaaaaat??? Settle???? Me??? I mean I’m all for tellin’ the kids (or in my case, the cats) that’s what’s for dinner and if you don’t want it don’t eat it (yes, I talk, out loud, like that to my cats). I get that type of getting what you’re getting, but if we were all to just go around in life looking at everything in that way, what kind of world would this be? Boooorrrrriiiinnng!
I want what I want and if I don’t get it I may get upset; it’s my prerogative (ooooh, now I feel the need to go and download that Bobby Brown song and kick some ass on the treadmill, and my ass sure could use some kickin’!). I’m 
not gonna act like a spoiled brat who is used to getting her way and begin kicking and screaming and pouting and slamming doors and yelling if I don’t, but DAGNABBIT, I refuse to just keep quiet and not at least try to get what I want or what I think is right.
So, after exactly two months of not blogging (anybody out there miss me?), that is my rant that will hopefully ignite the cannon that will catapult me back into the blogosphere.
Related Articles
- Bobby Brown – Singer and Crackhead (salvagedstars.wordpress.com)
- Facebook comments: lost in translation (socialcpr.wordpress.com)
I Confess to Almighty God and to You My Brothers and Sisters …
Oh you cruel, cruel creator of this 10-Days meme. As if I have not yet exposed enough of myself, on the final day you ask me for a confession. Haven’t I been doing that all along?
Hmmmm I’m pretty boring. I don’t know that I have a juicy secret to confess that would virally attract and drive millions of readers to this blog making me a phenomenon of the week. Ooooo oooo or do I have a self-incriminating video that would rise to the top of You Tube charts? Negative.
Geez. I really do need to get a more exciting life! What I do have is this …
Day Ten: One confession.
I come from a runny nose family. I don’t know why, but our noses always seem to be sniffley or drippy. The majority of us keep tissues or handkerchiefs on us at all times. I recall one time asking my siblings if anyone had a tissue to spare and my sister pulled an entire box out of her purse (it was a big purse)! I try to have a box of tissues in at least the living room and the bedroom at all times. Oh and at my work office. I’d keep one in my home office as well if it was actually organized and functioning as an office instead of a random storage/cramped guest room.
But anywho … when I was a wee one, before I was fully aware of my hereditary snotty condition, in a full-of-snot kind of way not in a stick your nose up in the air at the rest of the world kind of way, I didn’t know to carry tissues with me at all times. So … HERE COMES THE BIG CONFESSION … wait … for… it …
… I used to blow my nose in my shirt! A lot. I was full of snot. It was the most convenient way for me to clear out the ‘ol
nostrils. I’m not sure my Mama knew what the dried up marks were on my shirt at first. Eventually I’m sure I told her and outgrew the habit, because, NO I do not do it anymore. Oh dear God, I hope that blowing your nose in your shirt isn’t a hereditary condition as well! If it is, my kids are so screwed!
And THAT boys and girls is my big confession to wrap up this 10-Days meme. It really has been a challenging and learning experience. I’ve reflected back on things I haven’t thought of for a long time, like the nose blowing in the shirt phase I went through. I discovered new things about myself by typing these lists up and launching them off into cyberspace. And I enjoyed it all. The good, the bad, and the eeeeew did I really do that! One small step for man, one giant leap for this crazy cupcake lovin’, greasy head sweat hatin’ girl.
Until next time my friends, may your tissue supply be a plenty and your exposure to greasy head sweat be few and far between, if any.
Go in peace. AMEN!
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
Related Articles
- New iPhone app aims to help Catholics go to Confession (catholicnewsagency.com)
- Confessing in Prayer (j4man.wordpress.com)
- Are all of your sins forgiven even if you don’t confess them (wiki.answers.com)
- Nose-pons: How to stop a runny nose (janabouc.wordpress.com)
- keeping the runny nose green (unrelentingambiguity.wordpress.com)
A Thousand Words
They say a picture speaks a thousand words; I’ve actually been told the same of my facial expressions, but I digress. Today’s challenge – to select two images that describe my life right now and explain why. It seems the shorter these lists get, the harder they become. This 10-days challenge has really gotten the ‘ol noggin’s wheels spinning, in a good way.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
- Growing into my own. I’m about to turn 35. I believe I mentioned this already in a previous post – I don’t want to be 35. But here I am, and I find myself reverting back to the days when I was young. It’s almost like I’m discovering life all over again, on a different level. I really feel and sense myself growing into my own (finally – right? what took so flippin’ long?!?). I’m beginning to figure things out in this crazy roller coaster of life. Finding strength and confidence in myself to the right decisions and learning from my mistakes as I go along. Finding the balance of caring without caring too much about the wrong things. All while looking back and honoring that little girl I used to be; the girl who loved life, loved exploring, loved saying “I love you”. The girl who didn’t have many fears (except for maybe the garbage men) and who didn’t harp on mistakes and simply moved on. I think I might even be getting close to figuring our what I wanna be when I grow up!
ally in the early years
- Faith. I have found myself questioning and exploring my faith as of late. My parents were both very devoted Catholics and I have always wanted to have a faith as strong as theirs. I know I believe in God. I know I have faith, but I tend to feel guilty when I find myself doubting some of the beliefs that my parents followed. My Mama always said “I need God more than he needs me.” I do believe that. I know I need God in my life. I am just in the process of discovering my own personal faith.
photo by ally
Turn Me On
Almost coming to the end of this 10-Days meme challenge that I took on. What will I ever write about when it’s over?!?!? Ahhh, but I still have two more days to go to think about that.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
- Passion and Drive. I myself try to be passionate about my work and creative endeavors and to be driven to constantly improve and be successful at whatever I attempt in life. Passion and drive are much more of a turn-on than a couch potato mentality. Someone who continually tries and never gives up, or at least doesn’t throw in the towel until he’s tried his best. Plus we all need a little extra motivation sometimes, so having someone to share a sense of passion and drive with makes life even better. One person can can always give the other an extra jolt of inspiration when they need it.
- Shoulders. Hubba Hubba. I’m a sucker for a man with a nice pair of shoulders to rest that passionate, driven head upon. Just something sexy about broad shoulders …. perhaps they represent strength and protection for me. They’re also a sign of good snuggling and hugging potential.
via Wikimedia Commons By Nevit Dilmen (Own work)
- Spirituality. I don’t necessarily mean going to church every Sunday, although, that’s great too! Just having a belief in some higher power and a curiosity to explore a spiritual connection.
Related Articles
- What Turns Women On: Surprising Things Women Like (women.webmd.com)
- What Turns Men On? Surprising Things He Likes (men.webmd.com)
- 10 Day Challenge… (reachingforpink.wordpress.com)
Greasy Head Sweat …
Now that I have your attention … today’s list calls for four turn-offs, and yep, you guessed it … greasy head sweat made my list. Isn’t it on everyone’s though? It should be!
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
- Arrogance. I’m all about taking pride in your accomplishments; everyone deserves that. Be an expert in your field and share your wisdom, please do, we all need to learn, but don’t assume and/or act like you’re better than everyone else. At the end of the day we’re all humans. When someone just wreaks of arrogance I can’t stand it. As soon as I get a whiff of it, I have a hard time getting past the stench.
Unthankful. Ya know when you hold the door for someone or stop your car to let them cross the street (in a non cross walk area where you’re not legally bound to stop for pedestrians, of course) and they don’t say thanks or just give a quick wave? That turns me off and annoys me. I mean c’mon! I think the world would be a much better place if we thanked each other more often. Even for the small stuff; sometimes, those are the moments that mean the most.- Greasy head sweat. Sweat is a natural thing. It’s good for us. It helps flush the toxins out of our systems, but when I’m at the gym, the thing that disgusts me the most is greasy head sweat. You can see it glistening on the weight machine pads that have not been courteously wiped down by the person who used it before you or perhaps even the person before that. Blech! Greasy head sweat = turn-off.
- Narrow-mindedness. Sure, you might not agree with me, and that’s cool. Share your thoughts with me about why you don’t agree. Let’s have a meaningful discussion; maybe you’ll change my mind, but the “it’s my way or the highway” attitude, the unwillingness to look at things from another perspective is just so unattractive.
Related Articles
- If we didn’t sweat how would our body keep cool? (greenanswers.com)
- Botox now used to stop excessive sweating (mya.co.uk)
- Self-Cleaning Gym Gear Targets Bacteria, Sweat (wired.com)
Oh Great Ol’ Blue Eyes, Show Me the Way
Regrets I’ve had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Image by x-ray delta one via Flickr
Ahhhh good ol’ blue eyes. Frank Sinatra had it right doing things his way. Sure we all have regrets, but having the confidence to do things your way without looking back or second guessing, that’s how it should be done. Oh Franky boy, if only I could be like you.
Today’s list calls for six things I wish I’d never done. There are many things I wish I’d never done, but my life wouldn’t be complete without them. Good and bad, I do believe everything happens for a reason. Of course I don’t always get why things are happening when they do, but eventually it all fits into the jigsaw puzzle that is my life.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
- Credit Cards. Damn you little pieces of plastic! Granted they’ve helped me, especially when I did a stint of unemployment and desperately needed to shuffle things around, but I wish I hadn’t relied on them so much.
- Anger. I let my anger get the best of me and I wish I’d never reacted the way I did in certain situations. I become a different person when my emotions take me over like that, and people involved who don’t know me see me for something that I really am not.
- Unread Books. During high school I always skimmed my way through the classics that we were assigned to read. Perhaps due to my ADD, and I still have time focussing on reading to this day, but once I get into I book I’m hooked and can’t put it down. I wish I’d read more of the books that we were assigned to read in high school, instead of turning to Cliffs Notes.
- Think Too Much. I think way too much about what others will think than what I actually think and feel myself. I’ve done it in the past and still do it. Wish I could put the kibosh on that! (totally love the word kibosh by the way. do you? oh, you don’t? yea, maybe I don’t either, but I do, but if you don’t and you think I’m weird for liking it, then …)
- Theodore Bear. I wish I’d spent more time with my childhood dog Theodore Bear aka Teddy. He was such a good little poodle. I didn’t appreciate him enough.
- Stubborn & Selfish. I wish I hadn’t been so stubborn and selfish allowing myself to become cold towards you when you needed me most. Fear made me pull away when I wish it had drawn me closer to you during those final months. Fight or flight? I chose flight, but now I’d fight over and over to have just a few moments with you again.
